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Discussion in 'Over 50s' started by emu, Nov 24, 2015.

  1. RC.

    RC. Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2015
    Location:
    Sydney, Hills District
    Empathy and suffering becomes a bit blurred it seems.

    I find the use of words important when trying to relay an important perceived truth in a situation.

    I had never realised until now that empathy could be a stolen thing from one who is suffering.

    You have me thinking, thanks for that Jen.
     
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  2. Pippi

    Pippi Admin Moderator

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2015
    Location:
    Victoria
    That is a interesting convo and has prompted me to think about it further. One of my dearest friends is a Empath - mostly regarding animals and she suffers greatly at times.
     
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  3. RC.

    RC. Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2015
    Location:
    Sydney, Hills District
    If I remember correctly a lecture I went to with Dr. Alfred Baur an Austrian philologist the lecture being called Empathy and Compassion.

    I remember it having a lasting effect in the realms of diagnosis but he never touched on the thought that that you could steal someone's feelings for your own use.

    It is a rather interesting thought.:hmmm:

    Just what I needed really, something else to think about.:)
     
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  4. RC.

    RC. Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2015
    Location:
    Sydney, Hills District
    Let us all know about your ruminations Pippi.

    You have my interest.
     
  5. Jennifer

    Jennifer Pyjama Queen

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2015
    Location:
    Perth
    I wasn't really meaning that. Only that when you are with someone who is suffering and you feel their pain strongly, it is natural to rush in with an energy of 'oh no! poor you! I feel for you!' because you feel their pain so acutely.

    For the person who is suffering, they now have two lots of pain to deal with! Their own, and now yours. This can sometimes be experienced as an extra burden.

    Whereas if you can remain impassive (I tend to tell myself 'I will put the horror of his pain in a box for now and deal with it later in my own time'), then you give the person a lot more space to lighten his burden because he doesn't have to deal with your feelings on top of his own.

    A technical term might be 'non-judgemental acceptance'.....because feeling and expressing empathy/sympathy is a form of judgement. You are assuming that you know how the other is feeling, and you could very well be wrong in your assumptions, even when you are trying to be kind.
     
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  6. Pippi

    Pippi Admin Moderator

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2015
    Location:
    Victoria
    Recently a friends mother died, I had only met the mother a few times but I found myself very sad and nearly launched into my own experience of losing my mum. Stopped myself just in time and cooked her food for the family dinner that night instead - which seemed to be a far more practical way of offering support and she said it was just what she needed. I think its called mindfulness - need to practice that more often.
     
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  7. RC.

    RC. Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2015
    Location:
    Sydney, Hills District
    Yep, mindfulness sounds good.

    Gotta start practising that again myself.
     
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  8. Judith

    Judith Mostly harmless

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2015
    Location:
    Tasmania
  9. Cat

    Cat New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2017
    There is a new over 50 in the building. Bring out the dusty celebration accoutrements. I am also an empath.

    Very pleased to see this thread. PURRRR
     
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